One Night on Main Street
“I’m free, what should we do?”
Friday night in a small town during the late 80’s offered few options for entertainment. We were fortunate enough to have a one screen theater, but they didn’t get exactly first run movies. Besides, if you’d seen it, you had to wait a week or more for a new movie to come.
“We can rent a movie and watch it at your place.” My friends always liked to hang out at my house. My parents were cool and easy going and it was common for my house to be our destination.
Tonight was no different. My two best friends in high school weren’t exactly friends with each other, but they were both friends with me and we all knew each other well. After all, it was a small town.
After the movie, we decided we needed some snacks. Fortunately, one of my friend’s family owned one of the two convenience stores in town. We regularly raided the shelves when we were with him for the finest in 80’s snackery.
The convenience store was on the main drag in town. Draggin’ Main was a favorite pastime for all the locals, myself included. It basically involved driving back and forth on main street and one of the other streets, seeing who else was out and about. Occasionally, we would pull over and park in one of the parking lots along the route.
As we pulled into the convenience store, the movie was just letting out, which meant main street was as full as you were ever likely to see it. We took my car, a 1977 Chrysler Cordoba, with almost 200,000 hard miles on it. I was just happy it was running.
Exiting the car, I made the executive decision to leave it running while we went into the store.
“Are you just going to leave it like that?”
“It’s not like anyone would steal it.”
This surprising behavior isn’t nearly as shocking if you’d lived in a small town in the Midwest during this time. Most people left their houses unlocked and it was common to leave your keys in your car or behind the visor.
We quickly grabbed some chips, candy and drinks and were back at the exit in moments. Imagine my surprise when my car was gone!
The surprise only lasted for a second before being replaced with a greater surprise. As my friends and I looked up, there, in the middle of the street, was my car. Only it wasn’t parked in the street, it was going around in circles backwards in the middle of the street.
The small town traffic was backing up watching this glorious sight. Everyone was probably wondering what crazy person (probably drunk) was cutting loose. Some of them might have recognized my car and wondered what I was doing.
I might have had similar questions except for one detail. Shortly after we realized where the car was, we made another discovery. There was no one in it!
Not only was my car going around in circles backwards with other cars and four gas pumps close by, but it was seemingly doing it of its own volition.
“We’ve got to stop it!” My friend whose family owned the convenience store which was facing this potential threat said.
Leaving our other friend holding the goodies, we ran into the street and started chasing the car. Fortunately, it wasn’t moving very fast. Some of you might have tried to jump out of a moving vehicle, but have you ever tried to jump into one?
My friend and I were trailing the car, trying to figure out the timing to make this happen. It reminded me of trying to jump onto a moving merry-go-round at the park when we were kids.
We almost caught the handle only for it to slip out of our grasp before the door could come open. My friend took the lead on the next turn as the car careened past one of the gas pumps. I looked down the street and could see more than a dozen cars backed up in either direction. Everyone wanted to keep their distance and no one seemed ready to get out and try and help.
If we were going to stop the car, it was up to us. A few people farther back started to honk, not sure what the disruption was. If you’ve never seen a Cordoba, the car is long and heavy and capable of significant damage if it collides with anything (I know from experience when I wiped out the brick planter at my girlfriend’s house leaving one night).
The trajectory seemed consistent, but one little bump might throw it off and send it barreling towards thousands of dollars of property damage or worse. Once again, we rushed after the car, trying to catch it in time.
My friend had the better angle and he made his move. I watched as he grabbed for the door handle again, this time catching it and sending the car door flying open. He dove into the seat as the car continued to move.
With the door still hanging open, he tried to sit up and grab ahold of the wheel. I continued to follow the car, hoping I might be able to help in some way. There! The car was changing its course.
A great relief flooded over me as I saw the car slow and then turn back into the parking lot from which this adventure began.
“You got it! Do you know what happened?”
“Beats me, it idles hot. Maybe it just slipped out of park into reverse and started moving. Good thing your wheel was still turned from pulling in.”
“Yeah, good thing.”
We decided it was best to beat a hasty retreat before we could get in trouble for my car’s errant actions. Arriving home, I told my parents, “You won’t believe what just happened.”
And they didn’t. They thought we were joking with them. Even though the three of us all swore it was true, both of them thought we were lying. At least until the next day.
“Can you believe what happened with your son’s car last night?”
True story.