Destroy Your Child’s Hope in Just a Few Easy Steps

Children are a treasure, a blessing to every family. That doesn’t mean that having them is always easy. Sometimes, it can be quite a challenge. As they get older, it is natural for parents to wonder if they are doing the right thing. Books, podcasts, articles and daytime talk shows talk frequently about the best way to raise our kids and many a bestseller was made on this interest.

Despite a common desire to succeed in raising these new humans into adults, some studies show that, on a whole, society isn’t doing that great. The last two years of living in the pandemic and the restrictions it brought haven’t helped. A study from the first 6 months of 2021 found that 44% of American HS students struggle with “persistent feelings of sadness or hopelessness.” That is a very sad state of affairs. Having raised 3 teenagers, my wife and I experienced some of the ups and downs common to those years ourselves, but to think that many teens are living in a consistent state of hopelessness is heart-breaking. We all need hope.

What destroys a kids hope? That is a complicated question. We are not raising little robots that are programmed one way or another. Some parents tend towards more freedom, others are more restrictive. There are bad parents out there, who completely ignore their kids, but that isn’t the norm. We’ve lived in a non-US culture for the past 20 years and we’ve seen how other cultures raise their kids. Parenting isn’t easy, but there are certain things society can do if it wants to make it more difficult. Here is my tongue-in-cheek list of a few simple steps to destroy kid’s hope, if our goal is to continue to turn out more hopeless teenagers and young adults.

  1. Destroy their self-image. There are many options for how to do this. We can teach them that they are inherently bad, ugly or wrong for something over which they have no control. This form of destruction could be based on their heritage, sex, social class, race, skin color, physical appearance or any other classification. The important aspect is that it must be something that the child themselves cannot change. If we want to destroy hope in our children, teaching them that they are automatically bad because of who they are is a wonderful way to beat them down into despair. This step is very important, because it makes the child much more susceptible to self-destructive tendencies going forward. It reinforces the desire to do anything to be accepted, regardless of how much damage it might do in the long run.

Not a comprehensive list, but a depressing list. If a parent, influential adult or a society wanted to destroy a child and teen, these would be very effective paths to follow. If you are a parent, I hope you see these as things to avoid yourself and with the environments that you place your children within.

In contrast to the above categories, here are a few truths that you will find in God’s Word about your children and raising them:

  1. Children are a heritage from the Lord, offspring a reward from him. Like arrows in the hands of a warrior are children born in one’s youth. Blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them. They will not be put to shame when they contend with their opponents in court. — Psalm 127:3–5

Our kids are under attack today. There are influences that are actively working to destroy their lives and commit them to a lifetime of despair and hopelessness. We should be aware of these influences and we should be investing truth in their lives daily. There is a great stewardship in being a parent. Persevere in that stewardship, take it seriously and with great joy see the beauty of your children walking in Truth as adults. That’s the goal and the antidote to the hopelessness that the world offers.

Originally published at on May 6, 2022.



Chad Hensley grew up in the great state of Oklahoma and attended the University of Oklahoma where he received a BA in English Literature in 1993.

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Chad Hensley

Chad Hensley grew up in the great state of Oklahoma and attended the University of Oklahoma where he received a BA in English Literature in 1993.